By Atun
Source: Creative Commons
Maybe I’m not the most faithful in following and acting on God’s commands, let alone speak on worship. Even though I know there are more people like me, I won’t generalise and say that they are all like me. It’s not that I don’t want to follow the obligations of Islam, but it’s a combination of circumstances, time and the type of work that I do now to earn money to help my family. Other people don’t know my actual situation and will think that I use this as an excuse. Unfortunately, the following story is fact.
I have been working as a live-in domestic worker for a Chinese employer — who has a different religion than me – for about 12 years now. When I first set foot in her house, I was told that I was forbidden from praying in her house. I nodded “yes”, because I was afraid. If I protested I would have surely been blacklisted, terminated and sent back to my homeland, just like the stories I had heard in the holding centre before I flew to Singapore.
And so I spent my days like someone without religion. I absolutely could not fulfil my religious obligations as a Muslim, like praying or reading the Qur’an. My life felt so dark at that time, even though I received a salary that was far beyond what I could earn in my homeland. The normalcy of my life in my kampong (village) had stopped for a while.
I was only following my employers’ demands. I had to accompany their children to church, and almost every day I had to handle and cook pork – which was clearly forbidden in Islam. As far as I knew, pork was haram to touch, cook and what more, eat! I knew that what I was doing was sinful, but what could I do, it was my job to cook pork for them.
That was perhaps my fault, that I agreed and wanted to work in such conditions. Couldn’t I have just told them that I didn’t want to handle or cook pork? But it was only because I desperately wanted to get an employer that I decided that I would be prepared to handle pork, but I would not eat it. Now I had to face the consequences of my actions.
I was like an unbeliever, but I always thought,
“Perhaps God will forgive me, because my intention is to work and to carry out my tasks. What is important is that I don’t eat it.”
Something happened one Ramadhan, when I had been working almost 14 months with my employers. I longed to fast. As a Muslim, of course I welcomed the month with joy even though there was some sadness in my heart. Usually, I would fast together with my whole family – with my father, mother, siblings and other relatives. But now I had to fast alone, and in secret.
I was determined to do it, and I had already made niat (intention) to fast, the night before. I managed to fast the whole of the first day with just a glass of water for sahur (pre-dawn meal) I had always been afraid to take any food without my employers’ permission, what more when they were asleep! I would have been taken for a thief.
When it was time for lunch, I was asked,
“Atun, have you eaten?”
“Yes, M’am.” I answered simply.
In fact, I kept the food neatly hidden away in the refrigerator. I thought to myself,
“Ah, there will be enough for sahur tomorrow morning.”
After that first day, I continued to do the same thing for the next 15 days. Unfortunately, on the 16th day, I was caught red-handed having sahur. Wow, my employer was so angry and immediately reported me to the labour agent. I was severely scolded by the agent for having disobeyed both my employers and my agent.
“Wasn’t the rule against praying? Why can’t I fast too?”
I explained to my employer and agent, in tears.
“It’s because we don’t want you to not eat, later you have no energy to work, we don’t want you to be sick.”
My employer explained. I kept quiet and acquiesced.
After days and months, I finally completed my contract of two years. Two years of feeling so faithless, and so un-Muslim. While I was working, I was considered a good and hardworking domestic worker, who was willing to learn from my employers.
I decided to stop working for them and go home, but they wanted me to renew my contract by offering a salary increase. I thought for a moment before making a final decision, and immediately took the opportunity to negotiate. I explained why I had to carry out certain acts of worship that seemed like a waste of time or energy.
“OK M’am, I want to continue and work with M’am, as long as I am allowed to pray, and fast during Ramadhan, because these are my religious obligations, just like when M’am goes to church to pray and surrender to God.
If M’am allows it, I will renew my employment contract and I will continue working with M’am.”
After a long period of consideration, my madam finally agreed.
“OK, I allow you to pray and fast, as long as it doesn’t affect your work and it doesn’t influence the children. I don’t want you to pray or fast in front of the children, understand?”
“Yes, M’am.”
I answered, satisfied.
After this negotiation, I was much happier to work because I did not have to hide my religious obligations. Despite this, I could not neglect my duties as a domestic worker – I still had to cook for them.
Every time I cooked pork, I would wash clean the utensils and cutlery that I used with earth and soap, even though I used different ones to cook different dishes. This was the one thing that hampered my religious duties. Nevertheless I was still grateful because now my situation was a little better than the first year I worked here.
Now we respected each other’s religions. My employers respect my religion by allowing me to worship, and celebrate Eid, and I respect them. Besides working harder and with more vigor, I was also glad to help cook for them during different celebrations.
So, who says it’s difficult to be a Muslim? “Ini tak boleh itu tak boleh” (“This cannot that cannot”). In fact, it depends on how an individual handles it, because from my own experience and owing to my patience in working there, I managed to carry out my duties to my employer and to God. I could work without neglecting my religious duties.
Although in reality I still have to sacrifice some of my time for worship due to my work, all I can do now is to ask for forgiveness from the Most Forgiving.
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Atun (not her real name) is a 30 year-old Indonesian who is as small as a 12 year-old, has olive skin, has an oval-shaped face with a sweet smile, sad eyes and has a mole on her nose. She likes to garden and sing while cooking (because it makes her food more delicious). Her ambition is to one day have enough capital to buy a house for her mother, and open a catering or food business.
This article was translated from Bahasa Indonesia.